Renewal

Ellie took a minute to sit down, drink a cold bottle of water, and collect herself after a busy afternoon of playing "pick up, clean up" around the house. It wasn't exactly much cleaner, but she had taken some time to put away things that had been collecting dust for the past few months.

There are things you use, gifts given, shoes worn, jackets hung—you name it—and all of it is not in the place it's supposed to be. Ellie mused as she sipped. If all this stuff could talk, it would tell her, "You've been ignoring us while we've been silently screaming at you to put us away. We have no idea what a silent scream sounds like, but we've been doing it, woman!"

She cleaned expired food out of the freezer and reorganized it.

She started a load of laundry and found the counter in her laundry room stacked with all the bits and bobs that land there, courtesy of the family that calls this place home.

Just like her house, Ellie thought, her mind had been chaotic lately. She had just completed one of the busiest seasons she'd ever experienced at work. That busyness had kept her from digging into the anxiety that was always just below the surface. Now that the season had passed, there was plenty of time for all the demons to awaken.

The lies. The negative self-talk. The incessant worry. The feelings of hopelessness that creep in when faced with outcomes beyond one's control.

Yeah... there's plenty of time for that stuff now, isn't there?

"No!"

Ellie almost said it out loud. She didn't want to live in that space in her mind where bad thoughts win. How do people live in the land of clichés and talk themselves out of feeling these things? There was no cute meme or quote that could pull her out of the heaviness that hid deep in the recesses of her brain. The science behind the birth of a thought had always fascinated Ellie. Neurons fire electrical impulses across tiny gaps to different regions of the brain. Is it really possible to capture a thought and reframe it, like psychologists say?

As the cold water traveled down her throat, she imagined how much the Father didn't want that heaviness for her. His Word says, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Ellie thought a little deeper. Where does the rub come from? Why does this life feel anything but easy at times? Maybe because she tries to navigate all this stuff by herself while trapped in the amygdala of her mind. Fancy talk for the part of her brain that slams shut when faced with threats or challenges that come her way. She fights. She flees. She freezes. All alone.

Ellie had developed a professional-level illusion of control over her life. She tried to protect her heart from disappointment. She tried to shield her child from pain and hardship. She tried to curate a life free from the very things that plagued her mind when she sat down that afternoon in the first place.

The Father whispered again, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Something snapped into sharp focus for Ellie in that moment. A yoke is an instrument that joins two beings together to perform a task. Maybe the Father is trying to remind me that I am meant to be yoked with Him.

Ellie stood up and picked up a bottle of glass cleaner to begin work on the bathroom that so desperately needed attention. Wow. The Father was good to whisper in the quietness of a day like this. Ellie felt grateful for the reprieve in her schedule that allowed this reset at home. Perhaps it was the very thing that allowed a reset in her mind.

Were all her problems solved? No. But things had taken on a new and fresher perspective. Ellie knew she wasn't alone. The only way through the heaviness was remembering that He was with her. The power He provides is no joke. There is healing and wholeness that come from His presence in our lives.

A fine spray of blue liquid hit the mirror, and Ellie realized things weren't so bad after all. She felt needed and loved.

Romans 12:2 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to to test and approve what God's will is, his good
pleasing and perfect will.

Isaiah 40:31

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will not and not be faint.

Matthew 11:28 - 30

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.